Being happy when alone – fitting for February, right?
Whether you’re happier on your own or find that you struggle with solo life, finding happiness and loving yourself doesn’t need to be complicated or overwhelming.
Self-Love can look like a myriad of things. From taking yourself out on a date to reading an entire book in one day, from taking a bath to buying yourself that necklace you’ve been eyeballing. But there’s so much more to it, and we’re here to help. Regardless of how you feel about being alone, building a good relationship with yourself is a worthy investment. After all, you do spend quite a bit of time with yourself, so you might as well learn to enjoy it, right?
Alone or Lonely?
Before getting into the ins and outs of being happy alone, it’s important to understand that being alone doesn’t have to mean you’re lonely. Sure, you can be alone and feel lonely, but the two don’t always have to go hand in hand, nor are they mutually exclusive. Let’s discuss the two ideas, untangle them, and then delve into the meat of the idea of being happy alone.
Maybe you’re a person who looks forward to spending time by yourself, basking in solitude, or luxuriating in silence. That is simply being alone.
However, if you long to be surrounded by people, thrive off of chaos, and miss it when it’s absent, or, if you’re in a room full of people yet still feel disconnected, that’s loneliness. It is absolutely possible to be alone and happy, just as much as it is plausible to be surrounded by people and lonely.
Getting to the point where you enjoy being alone—and dare I say, are happy alone—is a powerful place to be, and one that can be very grounding and rewarding once you’re comfortable in that.
As we stated earlier, building a good relationship with yourself is a good investment. But how does one do that?
Being Your Own Best Friend
First, be mindful of judgments that may arise when you spend time focusing on yourself, and remember that by putting yourself first you are taking a healthy step towards being content.
One of the best ways to get to know your own self is by journaling. When we write our feelings, thoughts, and emotions down we are more likely to discover new things about ourselves and gain deeper insight into who we are, how we operate, and what makes us tick. Writing in a journal can provide an emotional release and offer a place for us to be completely honest and authentic with ourselves.
How to Feel Less Lonely
Not only can loneliness be detrimental to our mental health, but also our physical health, so it’s important to deal with feelings of loneliness when they arise. It’s possible to end loneliness without adding more people to your circle. To start feeling more comfortable in being alone without feeling lonely, start with getting curious about who you are, what your truths are, and how you truly feel in different situations. Get to know what you truly want out of life.
When you treat yourself with curiosity and with kindness, and you start paying attention to your own needs, wants, likes, and dislikes a new form of intimacy becomes present. In fact, this is the most reliable remedy for loneliness.
Volunteer
According to a large study conducted in the UK, from 1996 to 2014, in which participants completed a survey every two years regarding their overall mental well-being, including their volunteering habits, it was found that those who volunteered at least once a month reported better mental health than those who didn’t.
Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
While it’s easier said than done, avoid comparing your own social life to anyone else’s. Think quality over quantity. If having a smaller inner circle is what works for you, then so be it. Remember, you truly have no way of knowing if someone who has a large social circle is genuinely happy.
Pick Up a New Skill
Take this time of getting to know yourself to pick up a new hobby, or learn a new language. Something that not only promotes personal growth but also requires executive functioning skills like focus such as reading or creating.
Make Plans for the Future
Having a plan for tomorrow, next week, next year, and 10 years down the road keeps us hopeful and optimistic. Visit these plans (or goals) annually to see if you need to re-evaluate or change any of them.
Exercise
Being active can go a long way toward happiness. Exercise releases endorphins, those neurotransmitters in your brain that can make you feel happier. In a study from 2018, researchers found that participants who were physically active had 43.2% fewer days of poor mental health than individuals who were not.
Take a Break from Social Media
While it’s true that many people find social media to be a source of connection with others, it can also lead to feelings of loneliness and FOMO (fear of missing out). Social media isn’t necessarily bad or problematic, however, if scrolling through your feed makes you feel left out or stressed, take a step or two back and remember that your feed isn’t telling you the whole story, but rather a snapshot of a good moment.
Meditate
For years meditation has been used to promote and improve mindfulness, however, the practice of meditation can increase the gray matter in the brain. This section of the brain is responsible for perspective and emotional regulation. If you’re new to meditation you can go to YouTube and find a plethora of videos on all kinds of meditation. For your first couple of times, it might be helpful to follow some guided meditation.
Takeaway
Taking time to get to know yourself will not only ease the feelings of loneliness you might feel, but it will also help you get even closer to your goals in life. Whether you’re volunteering, taking a break from social media, or simply taking yourself on a date – when you spend time with yourself, you find more inner peace. When we have inner peace, our visions for our life become more clear, and planning a path to those goals becomes that much easier.
Reach out today if you’re ready for one-on-one coaching, whether it’s personal or professional coaching you need, at ETC we are here to help you plan a path to reach each of your goals.
Namaste,
Kiki
