“Why do Holidays stress me out?”
“It’s the most wonderful time of the year, or supposed to be, and all I want to do is run away to a warm secluded beach.”
Have you ever felt that way?
Well, good news – you’re not alone.
There are many factors why you might feel sad, down, or stressed. From unrealistic expectations to financial pressures, and all of our commitments, it’s no wonder so many people struggle during the holidays. And these reasons aren’t even talking about the science behind it all, which is genuinely fascinating. But, I digress.
What do you do when feeling these negative emotions? How do you keep going when all you really want is to go lie in bed, pull the covers over your head, and hibernate?
When you are feeling like the pressure of it all is too much, it can be hard to stop and regroup. Preventing stress and depression, especially if you have trauma from past holidays, can be difficult, but not impossible.
Turn your “Holidaze” into the Holidays and find the fun in it all this year with these tips:
Acknowledge Your Feelings.
Sadness and grief are par for the course in life. Acknowledging how you’re feeling and taking the time to express those feelings is key to continuing. Just know that you can’t force yourself to be happy just because society says so. It’s okay to not be okay, okay?
Reach Out.
If you’re feeling isolated and alone – seek out your tribe. Whether that’s found in the community, in a religious group, or through social events, just surrounding yourself with people can often help alleviate the loneliness.
If it’s stress you’re feeling, try reaching out to a friend or family member and asking for help. Even the most menial of tasks being taken off your plate can help reduce the feelings of stress.
Another way to lift your spirits, and really put things into perspective, is to volunteer. Helping bring joy to others brings joy to yourself.
Be realistic.
Maybe you’re a procrastinator? Maybe you’re a perfectionist? Wherever you stand – be realistic with your expectations for this holiday season. Even Martha Stewart has people to help her make everything picture-perfect.
Set Aside Differences.
Accepting family members and friends, regardless of their beliefs, will make things 1,000% easier for you, and your company. Setting aside grievances and differences until a more appropriate time for discussion will not only make life easier, but you’ll be able to enjoy your time without wasting your energy on negativity. The reality is that they, too, are most likely struggling with stress and depression.
Budget, Budget, Budget.
Setting a budget (for food and gifts), and sticking to it, will help relieve the financial stress that burdens so many of us every year. It’s easy to slip into a “Just one more thing” kind of mindset, but when you stick to your allotted budget, you don’t have to worry about paying it off later. Don’t try to buy happiness with an avalanche of gifts.
Some unique ideas for meaningful gifts are:
- Donating to a charity in someone’s name.
- Home gifts.
- A family gift exchange.
Plan Ahead.
Be prepared. Set aside specific days for shopping, baking, and meeting with friends and family. Don’t try to do everything in one day. By first planning your menu and then making your shopping list you’re less likely to find yourself scrambling at the last minute to buy forgotten items. Also – don’t forget to ask for help with meal prep and cleanup!
Embrace “No”.
Friends, family, and colleagues will understand if you can’t participate in every single thing. Saying yes when you should have said no can lead to feelings of resentment and overwhelm. If it’s not possible to say no, for whatever reason, try to find a way to pull something else out of your agenda to make up for that lost time.
Stick To Your Healthy Habits.
It’s so easy to sit back into old/bad habits. Whether it’s consuming more sugar and junk or skipping workouts, just don’t. Don’t use the holidays as an excuse for a free-for-all, remember – overindulgence can lead to more stress and guilt.
Try these alternatives instead:
- Eat a healthy snack before holiday meals. By doing this you’ll be full faster, and less inclined to go overboard on sweets and beverages.
- Prepare healthy meals.
- Get plenty of sleep.
- Find ways to include regular physical activity in your daily routine (park far away from the entrance to the grocery store, do squats while brushing your teeth, etc).
- Practice meditation, deep breathing, or yoga.
- Avoid excessive alcohol, tobacco, and drug use.
- Adjust the amount of time you spend on social media. Remember the information culture that we exist in can produce undue stress and anxiety.
Take A Pause.
Take a break by yourself, doing an activity that you enjoy. By spending just 15 minutes alone, with no distractions, can make you feel refreshed and invigorated enough to handle all of those pesky tasks on your to-do list.
Find a way to reduce stress by clearing your mind, slowing your breathing, and restoring inner calm. Some ideas would be:
- Take a walk at night and go stargazing.
- Listen to relaxing music.
- Read a book.
- Do something creative.
- Journal.
Practice Mindfulness
To be mindful, you must slow down and really notice what’s going on around you. Being mindful is the opposite of rushing or multitasking. When you’re mindful, you’re taking your time. You’re focusing in a relaxed, easy way. There are many simple ways to practice mindfulness. Some examples include:
- Pay attention. It’s hard to slow down and notice things in a busy world. Try to take the time to experience your environment with all of your senses — touch, sound, sight, smell, and taste. For example, when you eat a favorite food, take the time to smell, taste, and truly enjoy it.
- Live in the moment. Try to intentionally bring open, accepting, and discerning attention to everything you do. Find joy in simple pleasures.
- Accept yourself. Treat yourself the way you would treat a good friend.
- Focus on your breathing. When you have negative thoughts, try to sit down, take a deep breath and close your eyes. Focus on your breath as it moves in and out of your body. Sitting and breathing for even just a minute can help.
Seek Professional Help.
Sometimes, despite our best efforts, sadness and anxiety, physical ailments, sleeplessness, irritability, and hopelessness persist. If you’ve been experiencing any of these negative feelings for a while then it may be time to seek help from your doctor or mental health professional.